


Everybody Here Wants You

by youremynumberone (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Byun Baekhyun & Park Chanyeol are Best Friends, Byun Baekhyun is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Messy Feelings, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Slow Burn, baekhyun had an ex gf, jongdae is engaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/youremynumberone
Summary: Byun Baekhyun is whipped, Park Chanyeol is a dense, dumb beautiful bitch. One day, Chanyeol loses a game and is forced to join his female seniors for a drink. He brings Baekhyun along and discovers one or two things about his long-time best friend and himself.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun & Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 7
Kudos: 91





	Everybody Here Wants You

“Ah, really, I’m just not in my best shape right now,” Chanyeol whines, throwing the ball above his head and letting it bounce off loudly as it hits the bleachers. He lost the game by a big margin opposite his senior, Gaeko.

“You haven’t been in shape for a long time now,” Gaeko jokes, as he picks up the ball and throws it back to his friend.

“It’s the surgery,” Chanyeol mumbles, catching the ball and hugging it close to his chest.

Gaeko laughs and sits on one of the bleachers. “So, you have to do it.” He is grinning widely, gesturing for Chanyeol to sit beside him.

Chanyeol very dramatically falls to his knees and screams, “No!”

“What are you two doing?” Someone tiny yells from across the field. It’s Byun Baekhyun. He half-runs to where the boys are in the middle of the basketball court and asks again why Chanyeol is on his knees.

Gaeko laughs and tells Baekhyun he lost the game and is now forced to attend as proxy for Gaeko’s meeting with the members of the Radio Club. The members are known to be bullies, especially the girls, and especially towards aspiring members, to which Chanyeol is, but they are also, all of them, very obviously attracted to Chanyeol. Making the meeting even more dreadful for Chanyeol.

It has been Chanyeol’s dream ever since Baekhyun had known him to have one of his songs played on the radio. The university’s Radio Club is a big deal in the university, since they have a special segment every Monday lunch hour when they play one student’s demo and talk about it at length. It’s really good exposure if you’re really good, and Chanyeol is really good.

Baekhyun sits beside Gaeko and they watch Chanyeol lie down the dusty cement.

“Get up, you’ll get skin rashes from the dust,” Baekhyun nags. “Come on, we have to go. My throat feels very dry. I’m so thirsty,” he adds, standing up and shaking the dirt that had clung on his uniform.

At that, Chanyeol quickly stands up, and his gaze immediately falls on Baekhyun. His eyes focus on him, a small smile lifting at the edges of his mouth. “Baekhyun…” he says, walking towards him, one hand extended.

“What? What is it now?” Baekhyun takes a step back but reaches his hand to meet Chanyeol’s.

Chanyeol is laughing a little now. “Baekhyun! You are my savior!” He says loudly, taking his hand and pulling Baekhyun into a tight hug, his arms around Baekhyun’s small shoulders. Chanyeol towers over Baekhyun when they embrace so he doesn’t see how furiously Baekhyun’s face is blushing right now. He then, just as quickly, pulls away and holds Baekhyun on both sides of his arm.

“Are you doing anything this Friday?”

Still stunned from the touch, he could only blink at Chanyeol’s face. “Huh.”

“Will you come with me this Friday?” Chanyeol asks again, his face bright and open. Behind Baekhyun, Chanyeol glances at Gaeko, nodding his head like an overly eager puppy.

Gaeko cackles loudly. “Very smart of you to think that. Okay, I will allow it. It will be interesting.”

“What’s happening?” Baekhyun, still in a trance, asks, looking at both of them.

“Please come with me when I meet the girls,” Chanyeol says. “So in the middle of it, when I’m done introducing myself, do that whiny voice of yours when you go, Ah Chanyeollie, let’s go home now, and then I can say,” Chanyeol moves his hands to cup Baekhyun’s small face and cheeks, now a faint scarlet, “Okay, everybody, it’s time for me to go home with my Baekhyunnie. Please. Do it for me.”

Baekhyun realizes what he’s asking for and swats his hands away. He has never met these seniors and has no intention of hanging out with them. Unlike Chanyeol, who is largely popular in the university, Baekhyun is mostly reserved, doing things on his own.

“Ah, I don’t want to! No way!” He starts walking away, quickly, breathing in and out, trying to calm the heat that is still around his neck.

Chanyeol grabs his belongings from the bleachers, hits Gaeko by his shoulders, and chases his friend. “Baekhyun! Thank you! I love you!” Chanyeol yells as he catches up and playfully tackles Baekhyun.

Gaeko watches them walk away, shaking his head. “Ah, these two.”

“This is Chanyeol?” Baekhyun whispers to Sehun when they were first introduced. Sehun was the one who signed up Baekhyun into the Vocal Club, where he and a couple more aspiring vocalists are being trained twice a week. That was how they had met and had stuck together since. Sehun is one batch younger than Baekhyun but had been a member longer. He is only a sophomore but already has a steady and loyal following for the mixtapes he release online. This was how he had met Chanyeol, who heard one of his edits, and reached out for a collaboration.

Since then, he had heard Sehun talk about a certain Chanyeol all the time. Chanyeol recorded this, Chanyeol wrote that, that’s Chanyeol singing, Sehun would often say about his works, and now... well, it put Baekhyun in a temporary state of shock when he finally met Chanyeol and for two reasons.

One, the things Chanyeol did were all great. So great that Baekhyun nagged Sehun and his friends to introduce him, being an aspiring musician himself. He can only sing and perform as of now, but Baekhyun has dreams of learning how to write his own songs too.

And two, Chanyeol looked nothing like the genius in his head. In front of him, asking the lady in the tent for more soju, was probably the hottest jock he’d ever seen. He had come from his basketball practice and was extremely sweaty, the kind that brought out the tenderest flush from his neck up, and in the most absurdly ill-fitting jersey that falls perfectly around his big, strong frame.

Sehun eyes Baekhyun suspiciously and grins. “Why? He’s handsome, noh?” Not waiting for Baekhyun’s protest, which was a second or two late, Sehun immediately turns to Chanyeol to say, “Baekhyun thinks you’re handsome.”

Chanyeol glances up from his soju and eyes Baekhyun, who is now turning the most embarrassing shade of red.

“Fuck you, I did not say that,” was all Baekhyun could muster, slapping Sehun sharply on the back of his neck.

Sehun recoils, touching his nape, laughing. “But you meant to say that.”

In front of them, Chanyeol clears his throat. “Well, you can tell Baekhyun,” he addresses Sehun only, “that he’s not so bad looking himself. Cute actually.”

That makes Baekhyun blush even more furiously, and he downs another shot, which makes the heat in his neck and face even more pronounced. He starts to take off his jacket, but then catches Chanyeol’s eyes, looking straight into him, and he zips it back up, suddenly feeling more aware of the sweat beading around his temples.

“Don’t bully Baekyun please.” A serious voice makes them all look up.

“Jongdae, my love,” Chanyeol says in a sing-song voice.

Baekhyun glances at Chanyeol, then at Jongdae, and at Sehun and mouths, “What?” Sehun rolls his eyes, which he probably thinks he does in a menacing way, but is actually adorable and makes him look more like a child.

“Baekhyun wants to know how you two know each other,” he says in a flat voice, making Baekhyun want to disappear through the floor.

“I can speak for myself,” Baekhyun says, but his eyes are focused on his empty shot glass.

Jongdae sits down opposite Baekhyun and says that he and Chanyeol actually go a long way back, all the way from grade school. Jongdae is by a few years older than all of them, but he and Chanyeol were childhood friends who kind of just drifted into different circles during most of high school and into university, but are still close like brothers they actually live in a shared apartment. Jongdae now works as a part-time instructor in the Department of Philosophy, where he is taking his masters, as well. Baekhyun only knows Jongdae through the seniors in the vocal club, most of whom were Jongdae’s students and friends. Turns out he was an alumnus of the club, so he often visits their practices and always makes sure to attend recitals. He is a pleasant sunbae, and Baekhyun enjoyed talking to him, also taking pleasure in Jongdae’s solitary ways.

Suddenly, Baekhyun is reminded of all the moments he had gushed to Jongdae about this certain guy helping Sehun do his mixes and recordings whenever he catches Jongdae during rehearsals or recitals. All this time he had let Baekhyun talk about Chanyeol, who is apparently so close to him. He had that kind of quality, Baekhyun realized now, about Jongdae, that makes you trust him automatically.

As if reading his mind and by way of apology, Jongdae pours Baekhyun’s glass a drink and he takes it with a small smile.

Jongdae chuckles a little and he nods, as if to say it’s okay, I won’t tell, just drink up. And he does. Beside Jongdae, Chanyeol is not even hiding the way he’s been observing Baekhyun. Feeling particularly reckless, and perhaps it was the alcohol too, Baekhyun watches him back, letting his eyes meet his, still in quiet disbelief he is sitting in front of a person he’s admired from afar for so long. Chanyeol looks away first and quickly as if nothing has happened, they go back to their conversation. But to Baekhyun, it feels as if something had already shifted.

He notes how Chanyeol throws his head back when he laughs, even slapping Jongdae’s side close to him. How his ears cutely pop back out when he takes off his snapback to run his hands through his hair, damp now from sweat. How he drinks water a lot, probable reason why he isn’t flushed yet despite all the empty bottles of alcohol on their table. Chanyeol catches his gaze and holds it, locking eyes with Baekhyun as he downs another shot. That, too, he observes. He is fearless in his gaze. But does it mean anything? He doesn’t seem to be intimidating Baekhyun but he can’t tell what he’s thinking. Not that Baekhyun is particularly good in reading people. Chanyeol grins to himself when Baekhyun looks away first this time.

Just then, Jongdae clears his throat and says he has something to announce. Sehun nudges Baekhyun by the ribs, reminding him why they were there in the first place, which was as per Jongdae, to serve as padding when he drops the news. Sehun seems to already know what he’s going to say but Baekhyun, and it seems Chanyeol too, has no idea.

“I’m engaged,” Jongdae says simply, his smile wide and so genuine there is no questioning the sincerity of what he had just said.

Sehun is the first to react, raising his glass and saying a loud, heartfelt, “Congratulations, hyung!” And Baekhyun follows suit, clinking their glasses together.

It takes a full minute before Chanyeol reacts, and he quietly wraps one arm on Jongdae’s shoulder, and murmurs to him silently, not meeting his eyes. Then Jongdae invites him outside, where the two of them talk it out.

That night, Sehun and Baekhyun leave first. And the two stay longer in the tent, as late as they are allowed to, talking about the new chapter in Jongdae’s life, figuring out the logistics of their shared house, ironing out the tension that has surrounded the two for weeks before that night apparently, before they stumble back home.

🌆

That apartment is theirs to share now, and Baekhyun arrives with Chanyeol that Wednesday afternoon, one of them extremely sweaty and dirty, while the other still neat in his uniform. They are bickering when they arrive. Baekhyun is telling Chanyeol to go clean up before they eat dinner, but Chanyeol is simply focused in begging Baekhyun to come with him to the arranged meeting on Friday, although he already knows he will go. He doesn’t understand why Baekhyun enjoys the pleading, but he does it anyway. Baekhyun doesn’t understand how he is unable to say no to Chanyeol’s whims, however crazy they may be. Or maybe he does. No. That makes him chuckle suddenly. Of course, he understands why.

About a year ago, he gets a call from Chanyeol at 1am. Baekhyun glances at his phone and looks at the unsaved number, coming up blank. He answers it groggily and then sits up when he realizes who is on the other line. Prior to that late night call, his interactions with Chanyeol has mostly been in group hangs, together with Sehun and Jongdae, and sometimes with Chanyeol’s other friends, Jongin and Kyungsoo, and Gaeko’s bunch. They have never been able to meet just the two of them, though Baekhyun have plenty of times attempted to initiate, nor have had any real conversation at length. Which is why the phone call comes as a surprise.

“Hey,” Chanyeol slurs from the other line.

His voice wakes Baekhyun up fully and he gets up from his bed, wondering how to respond.

“Baekhyun it’s me,” he laughs, his laughter sounding like an old man’s, and already Baekhyun is endeared. Behind that sound, he could hear the faint booming of a club, as if a door had just swung open. Chanyeol must be outside then.

“I know,” Baekhyun says, turning the lights on. He checks the time again. It’s 1:38 am.

“Were you sleeping?” Chanyeol asks. He is outside a club in Hongddae, leaning by the railings at the fire exit. He pulls a long drag from his cigarette as he waits for Baekhyun to respond.

Propelled maybe by the strange dream-like quality of the conversation and the appealing lilt in Chanyeol’s tipsy voice, he pulls the phone away from his mouth momentarily to clear his throat, and in the most stable voice he could manage say, “I was, but I’m awake now.”

Without missing a beat, Chanyeol says, “Great. Now tell me, are you going to do anything in, say, the next fifteen minutes?” He remains well-spoken even drunk, which is a bit surprising, but which makes Baekhyun just like him more. He smiles and swings open his closet, grabbing a jacket.

“Where are you?”

That was how they started.

Baekhyun guides Chanyeol back to their apartment and helps him to bed. He takes off his shoes and socks for him and rolls him on the far side of the bed to make sure he doesn’t accidentally fall off in his sleep. He is surprised the bed is quite narrow for someone so big. Baekhyun leans in and pulls the cover over when Chanyeol speaks, “Jongdae gave me your number.”

“I figured,” Baekhyun whispers.

When he arrived at the club, Chanyeol was already mildly swinging in his steps. He came with a bottle of cold water and watched Chanyeol swallow the whole thing in a matter of seconds, crumpling the plastic bottle in his large hands. That seems to spring him back to sobriety but he is only quiet in the cab going to his address, leaning lightly into Baekhyun’s shoulder as he tried to stay awake.

“He said I could call you when I need him and when he can’t come. He said he trusts you,” Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun pulls the covers in and around Chanyeol’s long and lithe body, grateful he didn’t turn the lights on, because of how deeply he feels himself blushing. He makes a mental note to message Jongdae about this in the morning.

“I’m not going to undress you, so I hope you don’t mind sleeping in your jeans,” he says instead.

“You can undress me,” Chanyeol says cheekily, his one hand lifting the cover off his body.

“This must be why Jongdae wanted to move out,” Baekhyun jokes, but it lands flatly, and he almost apologized, before Chanyeol sits up to punch him lightly. Baekhyun had heard it was difficult for Chanyeol to accept Jongdae moving on so fast and into a chapter where he cannot be a part of, like they were part of each others’ youth before: he was going to be a married man, a father, a part of a family of his own. While extremely happy, very sincerely, for Jongdae, Chanyeol is the type to be possessive of the people close to him and it took him a while to warm up to the concept of his best friend marrying. In the end, Jongdae moved out and Chanyeol ended up living alone in their apartment. And things went back to normal. They still met up to hang out, to watch a movie, like before, but nights like this when Chanyeol goes clubbing a bit recklessly like the youth that he is, Jongdae couldn't join in on the fun any longer. 

Chanyeol stands up and stumbles to his bathroom, where Baekhyun could hear the water running. He is suddenly unsure whether he should stay or leave, but upon looking around, dumbly realizes he is, alas, inside Chanyeol’s room, filled with Chanyeol’s things, with functions in Chanyeol’s life and his curiosity roots him in the dark of the room instead of fleeing back to his. He walks around and marvels at Chanyeol’s little set-up: on his table is a desktop computer, a laptop, a sleek looking keyboard piano, and what looks like an expensive speaker system. Two kinds of guitar are securely leaning by the wall and beside it is a small drum set. On the right side of the desk is a record player, surrounded by a good dozen books about music, production, and therapy.

A door closes from behind him and it startles him that he turns around almost instantly. Its Chanyeol, back from his quick shower, now changed into a muscle shirt and sweatpants, his face neatly washed and his hair slightly damp. He sits on his bed, toweling his hair dry, quietly, before he lies back down.

“You’re welcome,” Baekhyun says, heading now for the door. “Don’t forget to drink water when you wake up,” he reminds him.

“You’re leaving?” Chanyeol asks suddenly. Baekhyun looks back at him to make sure he did hear the slight alarm in his voice.

Even in the dark, Chanyeol’s eyes are wide and clear with concern.

“It’s almost three in the morning,” he says, glancing at his alarm clock, which clearly says that it is, indeed, ten to three in the morning. “You can stay,” Chanyeol offers firmly, if an offer can be firm. And in his voice, it can.

Baekhyun looks around the room and while he may be whipped for this person, realizes he might not be in the right shape to sleep on the floor, not even on the couch. It had been a long week for him and with the semester just opening, the Vocal Club had been busy inducting the new trainees. He needs his sleep. He even has a lot of studying to do that weekend.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll go,” he says.

“Please stay,” Chanyeol says, moving the covers and scooting as close to the wall as possible, as if making space for Baekhyun.

“What is this?”

“Please, Baekhyun. I’m not even asking this for me,” he says, chuckling easily, holding his hands up in the air in mock surrender. “I swear. I’m just concerned about you. I don’t like the thought of you going home this late because of me.”

When Baekhyun doesn’t reply, he huffs out a deep breath and says, “Jongdae wouldn’t like the thought of you going home this late because of him.”

“Because of him?” Baekhyun cackled loudly at that. “Ah, really. Jongdae, doing the most even when he’s not around…” he says, shaking his head.

“Oh!” Chanyeol swiftly swings his feet off the bed and stands up. “Oh right, he isn’t here. Jongdae isn’t here!” He starts pacing the room and heads for the door, opens it. “You want to use his room? It’s practically empty save for the bed. He moved his things to his new place with his fiancée.”

He was already walking out of the room, only looking back at Baekhyun to gesture at him to follow.

“What is this,” Baekhyun murmurs to himself as he, indeed, follows Chanyeol into the other room. It is empty and curiously, the bed, the only thing inside, is much, much wider than Chanyeol’s, and it looks quite inviting at this time of night.

“You can stay here,” he says.

Baekhyun only looks at Chanyeol, unsure now how to go about it. His stunned silence gives Chanyeol a big smile. And then he quickly flees the room, running back to his, only to come back after a second with his own pillow and blanket.

“You can use these tonight,” he says. “Do you also want to borrow my clothes?”

“No,” was all Baekhyun could say and Chanyeol looks at him amusedly before saying, “Cool. Good night. See you in the morning,” leaving Baekhyun inside the almost empty room.

The next morning, Baekhyun wakes up early. Or so he thought. He carefully opens the door but is surprised when he sees Chanyeol in a sweatshirt, bed hair, in the dining table with a cup of coffee in hand and another cup waiting in the seat in front of him. Baekhyun looks and looks and thinks he looks immaculate sitting like that, with the light coming in from the huge windows in the living room, thin lines of smoke steaming from the mug of coffee he is holding with his both hands.

“Did you sleep well?” Chanyeol asks, tilting his head to the side, a habit Baekhyun later becomes very fond of.

Baekhyun simply nods and looks around the apartment, now flooded with the morning sun. It is surprisingly neat for a space owned by two men. His dorm is quite messy in itself, shared by boys he has not really bothered to get to know yet.

“Your place is nice,” he says when he takes the seat in front of Chanyeol.

“I know. That room is free, as you know,” he says, grinning at him.

A microwave dings in the kitchen. Chanyeol rises to check it and Baekhyun regards the space. The scent of something sweet fills the air. What is that? Apples? Cinnamon?

Chanyeol comes back with a shallow dish filled with a giant slice of a crumbling apple pie. Two forks in hand.

“What do you say?”

Baekhyun takes the fork and revels in the sweetness.

Turns out, that was what Jongdae had hoped for. That Baekhyun will move in, and that Chanyeol would find a new friend in him and wouldn’t feel so alone. When he and Jongdae met up, they spoke about this new living arrangement and Baekhyun had to admit that it was a sweet deal indeed. It was accessible from their school and the rent was cheap, owing to the fact that Chanyeol’s relative actually owns the apartment and they only have to split for a few bills on the upkeep of the space and the amenities of the compound. Its great, they both concluded and Jongdae was glad that what he had slightly orchestrated had truly happened. But nobody intended for Baekhyun’s little crush to grow as he and Chanyeol become a significant part of each other’s lives.

That evening, Chanyeol knocks on Baekhyun’s bedroom.

“I’m studying,” Baekhyun says loudly from inside.

Chanyeol knocks again, louder.

“I said I’m studying!”

Chanyeol bursts the door open and sees Baekhyun in bed, under his covers, tapping away in his phone.

“You aren’t,” Chanyeol says, easily sliding into bed with Baekhyun.

“What do you want?”

Chanyeol pouts when Baekhyun turns to his side, his back in Chanyeol’s view.

“I made a new track. Do you want to hear it?”

One of Baekhyun’s most treasured part of his bond with Chanyeol today is the way he openly shares his music with him. He feels a certain pride to be the first one to hear Chanyeol’s creations, literally inside his own room, in front of his own desk, in his chair where he had sat on working on it. It gives him the warmest, most tender feeling when he looks back on how he had always yearned to be close to the person behind the music he listened to in secret and now that person is here, standing behind him, his arms around Baekhyun, lightly grazing his shoulders as he opens the track in the computer in front of them.

The song begins and its strangely unlike any other track Chanyeol has made. It’s much simpler, without the flashy effects he has mastered. The song is simple and smooth but the message is so earnest Baekhyun feels an overwhelming desire to hold his hand. Shit, it’s a week night and here he is, suppressing the pining in his chest it actually physically hurts. The song is beautiful and so intimate it’s a bit dizzying. Am I living my life or being lived by my life, Chanyeol asks in the song and it both sounds proud and challenging, but also simply earnest. It’s the most metaphoric lyrics he’s ever written and Baekhyun can feel his heart swelling with pride. The song slows down finally and then quiets.

“What do you think?” Chanyeol has moved to sit at the edge of his bed, hands covering his face.

For all of Chanyeol’s bravado in his craft once it’s been received well in public, there is this intimate part of him that is scared and protective at the beginning, when it’s still just him. It’s so endearing, Baekhyun thinks, and while this was already routine for them the past year, he revels in that precious liminal space between anxiety and pride, in that moment where everything hangs on a balance and Baekhyun gets to set the scale.

“It’s not like anything you’ve done before,” Baekhyun says finally, choosing his words carefully.

His hands now move from his face to his ears, folding the large flaps of it inside his cupped hands. “I know, I tried to do this one differently. But that’s vague… Please expound.”

Baekhyun laughs a little before joining him in his bed, lying down. “It’s a simple song and it feels a bit bare, but the lyrics make up for it. It makes the song vulnerable and I think it’s my favorite LOEY creation yet,” he says, referring to Chanyeol’s preferred name for all his artistic endeavors.

Chanyeol whoops at that. “Okay, great! That’s a high compliment coming from you. As expected of my very first fan,” he says, grinning from ear to ear now, satisfied.

“I am not, cannot be, your first fan. You were famous even before I heard your roughest demo on SoundCloud. Don’t be too humble,” Baekhyun says, enjoying the part he plays in making sure Chanyeol knows how great he is. Because it’s what he deserves.

He shakes his head. “Well, I don’t care about the other fans,” he says with a flair as he stands up to walk back to his computer. “You opinion is the most important to me.”

Baekhyun watches him as he saves the material again, renaming it and moving it to his special folder. He feels affection spreading down the length of his body, like melted honey, down to his toes, and suddenly feeling disgustingly lucky and blessed to be where he is in this exact time and space. While he is, definitely, happy just being able to share a house with Chanyeol, granting him the privilege of seeing him on the daily, bed hair, morning breath, all kinds of sickness and quirks included, sometimes, he can't help but want more. It's just the human in me, he thinks and before he can change his mind, he asks, “Late night snack?”, pushing his luck.

But Chanyeol merely nods, still focused on his computer and says quietly, “Like you even have to ask.”

🏙

It's not like Baekhyun had never spent his time really considering confessing. If anything, he spends most, if not all his free time, thinking about what he should do about his growing feelings for Chanyeol. It had gotten to a point where this thinking thing has been detrimental to his school work and extra curricular activities. Once, Chanyeol swung by during a rehearsal with the Vocal Club and it was so unexpected Baekhyun completely missed his mark for the piece they were practicing. It had only made Chanyeol laugh but Baekhyun had to quickly send him a text to please leave, and he did, still chuckling to himself on his way out.

Afterwards, Jongdae spoke to Baekhyun about his affections for Chanyeol. Apparently, it had been obvious to several of their friends how tormented Baekhyun had been recently about his growing feelings for his housemate.

"I was chosen by the group to speak to you," Jongdae begins, sounding automatically like the professor that he is.

"Ah, hyung, you're scaring me," Baekhyun says.

That makes Jongdae laughs. "You're scaring me," he says instead.

Baekhyun hangs his head. They were at Jongdae's office, which is actually not his, but belongs to one of the tenured professors on sabbatical leave. He was allowed to use it in the meantime, as he was also now taking in thesis advisees.

"Even I have noticed, you know, and I don't even hang out with you and Yeol a lot anymore, so you must understand how alarming it is now," Jongdae says. "Not that its bad! It's great when you find someone you just really want to be happy, no matter what, but are you even aware what this is doing to you?" The concern in Jongdae's voice is sincere and somehow, despite this being only the third visit Baekhyun had in his office, he feels at ease talking to his hyung.

"I know," Baekhyun says. And he does. He had been thinking about it and once he had gotten into thinking, there had been another layer of awareness in his every move around Chanyeol.

Just last weekend, Chanyeol caught a fever. And despite having a recital to prepare for the next Monday, Baekhyun spent the whole weekend taking care of Chanyeol. Even Sehun had teased him about it, saying Baekhyun looked like the dumb, lovesick woman in dramas taking care of the man who doesn't even acknowledge her feelings. To some extent, he knew Sehun was right. He really was lovesick and Chanyeol seemed to have no idea.

Instead of preparing for his recital, he was making soup or porridge or was watching Chanyeol's temperature or was setting up alarms, all the way into the small hours of the night, to give him his medicine. At one point, he had to help him bathe and it was such a colossal struggle they resorted to Baekhyun giving Chanyeol a drybath with a damp towel.

In the end, he did make it to the recital and to his surprise, Chanyeol went too. Appearing from the last row for when it was Baekhyun's turn to sing, and disappearing right after. Back home, he surprised Baekhyun with chicken and beer. Baekhyun entered their apartment, all dim and dark, only to be surprised by Chanyeol after the lights were turned on with the food and a little, dainty bouquet of flowers.

It took all of his strength to not confess then and there, but he's glad he didn't, because later that evening, Chanyeol would say he did the surprise out of gratitude for having a friend like Baekhyun always taking care of him.

"You shouldn't, though," Baekhyun whispered.

"What?"

"You shouldn't be doing things like these to me," he said again, a small smile in his mouth, while he looked up to meet Chanyeol's eyes.

"You don't like it?"

"I do. I like it too much," Baekhyun said, standing up and gathering the trash to throw outside.

Jongdae nods, remembering the story, which Chanyeol told him, as well.

"I think you both need to sit down and talk this out, otherwise, you'll both end up hurting each other."

The mere idea of having to sit Chanyeol down to discuss feelings already makes Baekhyun dizzy. Either he will simply get laughed at, or he will really be put back into place by Chanyeol. And at the moment, Baekhyun isn't sure which is worse.

"Maybe this is all my fault," Jongdae says, touching Baekhyun's slumped shoulder. "I shouldn't have - "

"It's not your fault. I liked him all this time," Baekhyun says, laughing. "If anything, I should be grateful for you. You let me into his life." He stretches his arms upward, letting his back crack a little. "Ah don't worry, I'll figure it out. We'll be okay."

🌃

“That’s what you’re wearing? Is this night about you? No! It’s about me! Why do you look so…” Chanyeol trails off in a frustrated pout and walks back to his room, stomping his feet loudly. “This is bad. I’m going to wear something nice too, hold on.”

Baekhyun is left dumbfounded in the middle of their living room. He had a meeting with their concert’s sponsors earlier, which explains why he is in a white silk long sleeve shirt, casually tucked in his black denim pants. They were invited in the sponsor’s office, which was a high rise and in one of the flashier districts of Seoul. He couldn’t come in a hoodie or a shirt.

“Should I change? We still have time. I told you, I came from a meeting,” Baekhyun says loudly, sitting in the couch and waiting for Chanyeol to come out.

Chanyeol pops his head out from his room and Baekhyun could easily see his bare shoulders. “With your sponsors, I know. Don’t change, our laundry is like, overflowing. Just put on an ugly, old, smelly sweater or something. The worst you can find. You look too pretty.”

The compliment is just in passing but its enough to send a stupid flurry of butterflies down Baekhyun’s tummy. Ah, here it goes again. He hates when that happens, especially when its from Chanyeol, who has no idea he has that effect on him. Baekhyun has been waiting for Chanyeol to catch on his feelings for months now, which had been his strategy since his heart to heart talk with Jongdae - to wait it out, to not do anything, not speak about it. He decided he's happy like this, just grateful to be close to him. He decided he will just take joy in his little secret, finding pleasure admiring Chanyeol in the privacy of his own mind. Sometimes he slips and it shows too well, and everyone sees it, loud and obvious, but Chanyeol merely shrugs it off. Chanyeol is, well, Chanyeol. Not that he’s dense. Or perhaps he is, a little. But its mostly that he’s used to everybody being attracted to him. Everybody likes Chanyeol, that’s the world we’re living in, Baekhyun says to himself.

A moment later, Chanyeol emerges from his room in a nice, a bit oversized button down, his hair neatly combed back and wearing his thin-rimmed glasses. His long legs are in his distressed pants and one particular tear is particularly large and in a particularly high area on his left thigh, sending Baekhyun’s thoughts in a particularly restricted area.

“Jesus,” Baekhyun cries, covering his mouth for effect. “I thought you hated how those girls swoon over you? You’re showing up in this?” But the alarm in his voice is real. He fans himself, which makes Chanyeol giggle proudly, but he really is feeling heat akin to being set on fire. He is so fucking hot. Jesus Christ.

“We could just tell them we came from a date, which explains the clothes.” Chanyeol doesn’t clarify if he meant the two of them were on a date, or that they each had come from a romantic day with a person they liked so much it warranted this kind of dressing up and then met up after to hang out, forcibly, with women one to two years their senior. It all sounds absurd to Baekhyun he suggests they get warmed up first and drink somewhere before heading to the meet-up.

As expected, the women were all sorts of pleased and salivating when they saw Chanyeol arrive. His face is now colored a nice warm peach from the quick pre-game they did in the little bar just around the corner from this fancy restaurant that required reservations. Their smiles grow even wider when they see Baekhyun following from behind him.

“When I asked Gaeko to set us up with you, I was only half-kidding but now I’m glad he came through. Who is this pretty boy you brought with you?” One of the girls says, looking Baekhyun over approvingly.

“This is Baekhyun, my best friend,” Chanyeol says and Baekhyun turns to glance at him. He has never regarded him as, first, his best friend, and second, as his. It makes him blush deeply and also makes him feel suddenly sad. They had been living together for over a year already. Baekhyun knows everything about Chanyeol, from the small things he gets shock from, to all of his big and simple dreams. He had seen him in his worst moments and his best. Maybe he really is his best friend. Maybe that’s all he is to him. And that’s fine, Baekhyun reminds himself. Of course, it’s fine.

They sit beside each other and Baekhyun stays mostly quiet Chanyeol mouths a little questioning Why? At him. Baekhyun smiles, shaking his head. Handing him the chopsticks when he saw him eyeing the chicken simmering in front of them.

Chanyeol is now taking command of the conversation and is telling the women about his latest track, describing it with so much pride it makes him sound a little like a child. Baekhyun sighs at how much endearing he finds it.

The women suddenly chuckle and Chanyeol stops mid-sentence.

“What? Why?” He asks, a bit alarmed.

“You can stop selling us about the track. We’re playing it, of course. Are you even aware of how good you sound? You are, without a bias,” she says, smirking as if to signal otherwise and leaning closer, letting his blouse move with his chest, “one of the most talented musicians I have, no, we have ever heard. We just really wanted to sit down with you face to face because wow,” she eyes him intensely. “You have such a handsome face.”

That makes Chanyeol grin so widely, and it looks a bit goofy, because her words really made him happy. Baekhyun smiles. It means a lot to Chanyeol, the way these seniors are so accepting of him and his project. He pours each of them alcohol and they toast together, including Baekhyun, but before he could down the shot, he hears a familiar voice behind their table.

“Aw, come on. You guys couldn’t wait for me?”

They all turn to look, except for Baekhyun, who stays staring at the table. She walks closer to them now, and the girls flock around her, fretting at how beautiful her hair, her jacket, her purse, her lipstick is.

“Hey,” she says, in particular to Baekhyun.

Chanyeol had turned to face Baekhyun to clink his shot glass with his, but is stunned to see a different Baekhun beside him. Suddenly he looks tender, a different kind of flush coloring his round, glowing cheeks. 

“Hi,” Baekhyun greets her, standing up. They stay there looking at each other for a moment longer before the girl’s smile breaks into a shy laugh, holding up a hand.

“Should I, uh, give you a high five instead?” She chuckles fully now, easily.

“You shouldn’t,” Baekhyun replies steadily, voice soft, and steps around the table and to her and gives her a hug. It isn’t long, but their arms linger around each other.

In his seat, Chanyeol is wondering who she is. He desperately searches his mind and backtracks all of his time with Baekhyun, trying to remember when he had ever mentioned an ex, or a girl he used to date, or a crush, or a sister from another father or something, anything at all to explain the weird, tender tension between the two. He must have said something, Chanyeol thinks to himself, trying to recall conversations or texts, ducking his head and closing his eyes to fully concentrate.

Chanyeol murmurs a low, “What,” when he realizes, with pathetic horror, that he knows nothing. Nothing at all. He can't remember because there is nothing to remember. How much does he know about Baekhyun, whom he claims as his bestfriend, his closest confidante and critic? Baekhyun knows everything about him. But that's because, he slowly realizes, all their conversations, their memories, their days, all this time, have been mostly spent on Chanyeol. What happened to Chanyeol’s day, what does Chanyeol want to watch, what does Chanyeol think of this song, where does Chanyeol want to go, why is Chanyeol feeling sick, who does Chanyeol like, who hurt Chanyeol…

He glances at Baekhyun now, who is quietly speaking with the woman in front of him, the realization washing over him coldly, freezing him on the spot so he feels suddenly like he’s about to keel over.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re not breathing,” one of the girls said to Chanyeol, which immediately snaps Baekhyun back to his role again beside Chanyeol, the ever reliable best friend, his hand automatically flying to gently touch the side of his neck and then his forehead.

“Why? What’s wrong? What are you feeling?” The alarm in Baekhyun’s voice is so genuine, his eyes searching Chanyeol’s face for what could have possibly gone wrong. And the sincerity in him makes Chanyeol’s heart hurt.

He swiftly swats his hand away and pours himself another shot, downing it easily. Baekhyun watches him and hands him his glass of water, which he automatically takes, because that’s their rhythm, Baekhyun looks after him and his every move always, keeping him safe and sober and clean and comforted and satisfied, until he remembers again and fully turns his body to face Baekhyun to ask. What he was going to say, he wasn’t sure yet and he pauses, mouth already open.

Just then, the girl, whose eyes had never left Baekhyun’s, speaks.

“How’s your family?”

Baekhyun laughs lightly before answering, saying they’re pretty much the same. He tells her about the café his family runs is doing well, and mentally, Chanyeol checks that this one small fact, he knows. He says his brother had married last year and is expecting a baby. Beside him, Chanyeol listens attentively, his mind running, remembering how Baekhyun had told him this before he moved in.

“They like the gift you sent, by the way. I’m not sure if he ever got to thanking you properly, as it had gotten hectic so quickly after her wedding,” Baekhyun says and this confirms what Chanyeol had assumed, that this girl was a big part of Baekhyun and family’s life before they met. Who was she? Why had Baekhyun never mentioned her? Why had Chanyeol never asked...

“I know, your mom told me. She met my mom early this year,” she says. “She says you’ve gotten into singing,” she goes on, looking down at her hands at the table.Baekhyun stammers, “Yeah, can you imagine? I finally did it.”

They both chuckle and it seems so easy, like there is something special they’ve shared, to which Chanyeol has no access to. Not because he was denied, but because he had never thought of asking. All this time he enjoyed the massive improvement Baekhyun had brought into his life, how much light and comfort and order he had given his days, but never really paused to think what he had been giving him in turn. All he could think of were moments when Baekhyun came to his rescue, when he came to help, when he would run over to help him with something, no matter how small it was, like a broken adaptor to his charger, or how colossal, like a decision he had to make mid-semester when he was offered a fellowship to a songwriting program. But that was their difference. Baekhyun was extremely self-sufficient, Chanyeol was not. This was why Jongdae thought of introducing someone like Baekhyun into Chanyeol’s life: because they all knew he’d need someone.

Chanyeol pours himself another shot and drinks it in one go.

🌌

Of course, he gets drunk that evening. What they had planned, which was to stay for a bottle or two and then leave after Baekhyun says his line, which is that he still needs to practice for recital, had gone down the drain. Baekhyun said his line, multiple times, but Chanyeol kept drinking and kept flirting with one of the girls.

That girl, the one Baekhyun had been talking to, had left an hour ago. Baekhyun politely walked her out and waited for her to get a cab. They were in a busy district in Seoul and as it was already getting late, so it took a while before he headed back inside. But when he did, Chanyeol is already sufficiently drunk.

He declines all of Baekhyun's offer for water, and glances nervously at the seniors, who Chanyeol wanted so badly to impress. Thankfully, they were just as drunk and they still seemed to be having a good time. It takes another round of drinks before the girls signal for the bill and say their goodbyes.

One of them glances at Baekhyun and says, "You're so good to him. Does he know you like him?"

Baekhyun anxiously checks if Chanyeol had heard that, but he is already so out of it, so Baekhyun replies calmly, "He doesn't have to, does he?"

She smiles at that and nods sadly. The girls leave and wishes the boys good night.

Once its just the two of them, Baekhyun props Chanyeol up on his side and helps him walk to the door. They make it to one of the bus stops, where he helps Chanyeol sit by the bench as Baekhyun waves on any incoming cabs. Finally, they get one and head home.

In the cab, Chanyeol's eyes are closed but he is awake.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, and then slides to the farthest side of the back seat.

"What are you doing?" Baekhyun asks. "You'll get dizzy like that. Come here," he whispers, pulling Chanyeol nearer him and leaning his head on his shoulder.

There have been so many moments like this already, between the two of them, one of them embarrassingly drunk, or both of them, inebriated and out of their heads, but something is different about this evening. There is a certain kind of stiffness between the two of them and Baekhyun can't put a finger on what it is exactly, but its there. They are leaning on each other, but there is a distance that exists, a boulder between them. It worries Baekhyun, but he glances at Chanyeol and sees only how wrecked he looks. He wipes the little beads of sweat near his ears with his shirt.

"Baekhyun," he murmurs and Baekhyun leans closer to his face to hear what he says next, but he remains quiet.

When they get home, Baekhyun helps Chanyeol to his own room and into his own bed. He contemplates undressing him to more comfortable clothes, its no big deal, he's done it before, helped Chanyeol undress, but decides against it and simply tucks him under his covers. Again, he thinks, this feels like any other normal night, but something is different. He can't tell if its him that's making a big deal out of it, remembering how jarring he felt earlier at Chanyeol's remark - my bestfriend, he had said. Or if it was actually Chanyeol acting strange. He had been weird since they were drinking at the restaurant, not looking at Baekhyun, only answering him in short syllables when he initiated conversations. Baekhyun sits there for a while, thinking about the evening they had, suddenly weighing his feelings as he watches Chanyeol, who shifts uneasily in the bed. Baekhyun starts to stand up to prepare a glass of water, in case Chanyeol gets thirsty later, but he grabs a hold of Baekhyun's hand instead.

"Baekhyun," he says again in that voice of his that sounds both sleep heavy and sad.

"I'm right here. What do you need? Are you thirsty?"

Chanyeol chuckles a little and opens his eyes. He is still holding Baekhyun's hand. And he starts to feel the cruel assault of a thousand winged creatures all over his tummy and his chest. It's okay, he thinks to himself. This is okay. He's just holding your hand.

"Baekhyun," he says again, this time louder. "What is your dream?"

It was Baekhyun's turn to chuckle this time. But Chanyeol seems serious. Whether its the alcohol or its the trance like state he is in now, still very deep in his thoughts and messy feelings, Baekhyun decides to answer honestly. He sits back down on the bed.

"To perform as a soloist with a song I wrote myself," he says easily.

"What is your earliest memory as a child?"

"I don't know if this is the earliest, but I remember being unable to stop yawning. I would just yawn and yawn and yawn, one after the other until my eyes teared up," Baekhyun says, making adorable gestures with his hand, making Chanyeol laugh fondly, who now looks attentive as if he wasn't just about to fall asleep in his fancy clothes, horribly drunk a few minutes earlier.

"How about you?" he asks, but Chanyeol shakes his head.

"No, I want to know about you. If the house is on fire, what would be the first thing you'd save?"

Baekhyun pauses for a moment, still unable to digest what Chanyeol had said first, about wanting to know more, and weighing his options on his response if he says of course he will save Chanyeol first.

"Wait no, don't answer that. If you had a superpower, what do you think will be given to you?"

"Light," he says and Chanyeol nods at that.

"You've had a girlfriend before?" Chanyeol says, which isn't a question, but he makes it sound like it is, and to Chanyeol, it is. Baekhyun nods.

"Yes. We've known each other a long time, but we were only together for a short time because of certain... circumstances."

When one is in the dark for quite a long time, the eyes and the senses sharpen and adjust, bringing a new height of awareness to everything. The room is dark but Baekhyun can see and feel everything. He can see Chanyeol looking at him intensely, his eyes on his face, watching him. It would usually make Baekhyun look away but in the dark, this late evening, he feels brave and fearless. He holds Chanyeol's gaze and lets himself gather up his feelings, ready now to put them down. In the dark, Chanyeol moves his arm and laces his fingers with Baekhyun's hand.

Baekhyun glances at their intertwined fingers before saying, "She was my first love." In his head, a voice is asking, best friends can do this, right? Right? But here, right now, Chanyeol's presence is louder than any other voice in his head and inspite everything, Baekhyun says, "But not my last."

And then Chanyeol replies, "Tell me more. Tell me everything."

**Author's Note:**

> I got comments saying they wish the characters have a happy ending...so I'm adding this here to say SORRY lmao I thought this was HAPPY enough!? ALSO its tagged as 1/1 because I wrote this as a one shot thing. I really just wanted to do something about the concept of being known and how it is so close to what intimacy is. We might think we already see someone but it takes more than looking to really do! ANYWAY. Thanks for reading!


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